It was just about a week ago when my son fell and broke his wrist. I didn’t realize it soon, though. I thought it was just another fell as a part of his walking learning process. Yet, something caught me when I saw him grinning in pain during I nurse him. Moreover, the fact that he avoid to sleep in certain position set my motherhood instinct on alert.
Long story short, the orthopedic decided to do closed reduction cast under anesthetist in order to reattach the wrist and the upper palm perfectly. There were some preps needed to follow before the surgery. Baby boy must undergo a blood test, thorax test, and the medicine would be given through an infusion. Thorax test is an easy peasy thing. But blood test? Geez, do you know how difficult it is to find a baby vein? It’s so tiny that sometimes the vein crashed even before the right needle gets in.
So he was lying on bed with two nurses tried to get a blood from his small vein. He cried loudly as these nurses who were strangers to him held his hand and jabbed a needle. He screamed. Tears fell down from his eyes like a river and on that point, his eyes met mine and all I saw was fear and pain. It hurted me so much to see my son in pain. If I could, I would just replace him and take the pain, but I couldn’t. So I just bit my lower lips as a hope that this can go away soon. I tried to hug him but it would just trouble the nurses so I sang him a lullaby, the same song I used to sing to tuck him bed. Just to let him know that I was there. That his mom was there for him!
Once the bloody blood collection was done, baby boy was taken into the surgery room. I was allowed to accompany him until he inhaled the anesthetist and then I should left him all alone on the surgery table. It broke my heart to do that. As I walked I could feel that my leg started to get numb, but I forced myself to leave. I needed to trust the doctors there. One thing calmed me a little that my sister who happen to be a doctor was in the room. After 30 minutes which felt like ages, the surgery was done. Baby boy started to get his conscious. He cried a little, showed his casted hand and asked me to lift him up. He giggled as I kissed him. The cast will be opened in a month, till then, be careful on your play time my dear baby boy. :*
Funny thing is… I thought I was gonna cry during the whole process but I didn’t. Somehow I realized that crying would worsen everything. At that moment, I needed to stay focus, had a clear mind and just being strong. The following day, baby boy was declared free to be home. One thing was done, but other awaits. I needed to handle the hospital administration and the long-energy-sucking-process-of-insurance-claim. I managed to do it with emotionless feeling though. As the whole insurance thing was done, I got into the car and just in that moment, I suddenly broke down. Cried heavily. A relieve kind of cry for this is over finally.
Anw, I guess Bob Marley was right after all.