Kumpulan Rejeki

Sejatinya hidup itu adalah kumpulan rejeki. Rejeki sehat, rejeki bertemu orang-orang baik yang sangat ramah yang mengesampingkan sekat-sekat jabatan.

Rejeki diberikan perspektif baru untuk beberapa hal yang sebelumnya mengganjal pikiran sehingga hati terasa lebih lapang.

Rejeki dikirimkan sahabat (baru dan lama) yang selalu siap sedia bertukar pikiran.

Rejeki anak dan suami yang pengertian ketika satu-satunya perempuan di rumah (yang biasa melayani mereka) untuk sementara waktu mesti fokus pada pekerjaan. Meminjam komentar salah satu teman, “Saat ini hidup lo dari satu pesawat ke pesawat lain, Ka.”

Rejeki bisa menjalankan tugas dengan baik bahkan ikut berkontribusi menggerakkan roda ekonomi lokal seraya menikmati budaya dan keindahan alam Indonesia.

Rejeki menikmati hidup dan kemampuan bersyukur atas segala hal (baik-buruk, susah-senang).

Rejeki tinggal tenang di dalam Tuhan.

Iya, hidup itu adalah kumpulan rejeki, tinggal gimana kita memaknainya.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Tidak Hari Ini

Khotbah Kebaktian Minggu hari ini sungguh menarik, diambil dari Kejadian 50:15-21 tentang Nabi Yusuf. Kisah hidup Yusuf sendiri menurut saya luar biasa. Diperlukan tidak adil oleh saudara-saudaranya, dibuang ke sumur lalu dijual ke saudagar Mesir. Karakternya benar-benar tangguh namun di sisi lain lembut hati karena memutuskan untuk mengampuni saudara-saudaranya. Bahkan menampung mereka saat terjadi kelaparan hebat di Tanah Kanaan.

Dibandingkan dengan saya sih jauh banget. Hahaha. Tidak seperti Yusuf yang abis dijual, dijadikan pelayan kemudian difitnah Tante Potifar -trus masih belum abis juga apesnya-,  dipenjara lalu dilupakan hingga 2 tahun lamanya, saya cuma:

Dikirimi text panjang-panjang sampe pusing bacanya padahal saya sedang kemalangan mengurus anak sakit.

Baca lebih lanjut

Body Don’t Lie

“How do you feel when writing those from scale 1-10?”

“Deep rage. 10/10.”

“How do you feel after?”

“Relief but extremely exhausted.”

“Common response. Any other physical symptomp?

“Nausea. I vomit a little after each writing. Oh, and headache.”

“Understandable. Your body responding it. Imagine holding the wrath any longer, what can it do to your health? Or imagine bashing that rage to your family or the colleagues in the office. Imagine the damage.”

Imagine the damage

“Wow, aren’t you talking what ifs now? What if I didn’t release it? What if I didn’t write those.”

And she laughed. “The concern is your health, both emotionally and physically. I know it’s not easy. You worked hard. Good you released it through writing. Anything else?”

“Nothing. I’m done with all these shit. I’m just tired. Enough.”

“What should you do when you’re tired?”

“Rest.”

“Do it.”

“Oh, and pamper myself a little. Maybe cleansing in a bath up covered with petals. Just because.”

Body don’t lie. Next time I find myself uncomfortable with something or someone, will protect myself, my vibe and energy from the beginning. As I recalled I felt weird to that person even from day 1 when we met. Shall try to listen for its sign more.

Joke’s on Who?

Once, someones threatened to delete me from ones life and consider me never existed if I didn’t comply to what ones wanted. Things got worse and the person started dictating my life of how I should react.

I was a fool to comply those appeasement for a short period of time whilst I’ve paid my dues. I did that because I respected the person, I looked up to ones. Boy I was wrong. After awhile I started to live in constant fear. I was in survival mode for months. Have you been in that situation? It was tiring. 😢😭

That was not healthy anymore.

It took me lots of hardwork by journaling, meditating, back and forth sharing with someone whom I trust, learning to change thinking patterns, etc., and I did it! I managed to get out from that situation. Yeay! It’s a big relief. 🤗🤗

Btw, once someones threatened to delete me and consider me never existed. As I grow, my thinking pattern change and I consider the person is dead. To me, that person is dead. The joke’s on who, now?

Lemmi Stop You Right There

I’ve closed the door to the past and look forward by opening the door to the future.

So, Lemmi Stop You Right There. Stop trying to fix things you’ve smashed and trying to get credits for mending it. (Dunno the reason) perhaps to make you feel good about yourself? To ease the guilty feeling? Or maybe in the hope there’s a chance for me reaching you out to reconnect as a thank you courtesy? 🧐

If I want to, I myself can arrange the reconciliation with my own resource. No help needed.

Heart is like a glass and once it’s shattered, it’s never be the same. I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I am not that meek-submissive person you used to put pressure on. I’ve said goodbye to that old version of mine. 😊🙃

02/05/2021. Ah, 2nd of May. Hello, May. Come what may.

Learning How to Say No

I’m still learning the first line, comfortably. Garis bawahi kata comfortably alias nyaman. Dididik sama orang tua untuk harus selalu patuh dan kena omel abis-abisan kalo enggak nurut, bikin saya nggak nyaman buat menolak.

Saya terbiasa untuk speak up apa maunya saya dan nggak ada masalah dengan itu. Namun begitu ada orang yang minta tolong, ambyar semua. Saya nggak nyaman menolak. Sering merasa bersalah atau nggak enakan gitu kalo ada yang minta tolong. Say No itu tingkat kesulitannya (buat saya) sama kaya kalau saya lagi bikin itinerary liburan keluarga ke Korea atau itinerary jalan-jalan ke Kamboja :D. Ribet. Baca lebih lanjut