I have always been daddy’s little girl. He’s my hero, my idol, my first love. He set the bar so high on how a man should treats me that when I was young I searched that quality on my future husband. Late night last Saturday I received a call informing me that dad was sick and wanted all his children to gather. I was shocked. Just met him less than a day and now he’s suddenly ill to the point would like to say a death wish… I had my breakdown. I wasn’t ready.

On the way to meet dad, Adrian was driving, I was shaking in the car; all of memories of me and him were played on my head. Since I was little, how he shaped me, raised me into who I am now, how he spoiled me with lots of vacays local and overseas, how he’s always been very protective, all of our laughter when we had quality time…. I cried. I still want to create more memories with him. I’m not ready to lose him. Oh God, please no.

It was the longest 24 hours of my life. Sitting next to him, watching him open his eyes, looking for me then suddenly losing his consciousness and then doctors also nurses rushed to handle him. Repeat several times. Oh my heart, I felt my heart was being ripped of every time that happened. My eyes were misty aid, hands were cold, heart was numb. I lived through the hours by survival instinct only. And when dad was finally stable, I started to be able to breathe slowly.

Bapak, Karie belum siap kehilangan Bapak. Semoga Bapak cepat pulih, lekas sehat seperti sedia kala. Nanti Karie buat pisang goreng kesukaan bapak yang banyak, nanti kita makan bihun goreng lagi. Nanti kita jalan-jalan lagi, Bapak mau ke Barcelona lihat club bola kesukaan bapak main langsung di sana kan? Sehat ya, Pak. Karie sayang sekali sama bapak.