Recently, a professional whom I trust wholeheartedly encouraged me to write of how I feel towards something. To release whatever emotional residue left in me, to let all the anger out until nothing’s left anymore. Doesn’t need to be a long in-depth writing, small notes do just fine as long as it’s consistent.
Not there’s no reason behind it but because I skipped the anger phase in my healing journey. After 8th March , my soul was desperately sought for peace, I did anything I could to be at at that state including jumping a phase.
“But how if by unloading all these things in my chest someones get hurt? Doesn’t it make me no different to that person?”
“Isn’t useless to talk what ifs? Prioritize yourself. Focus on your healing. Does the person’s response your responsibility? Never. That person is a grown up.”
“Focus on your own healing. It is unwise carrying time-ticking bomb. It’s better to release the emotional residue little by little in your own controlled situation (in this case free writing) rather than explode somewhere, sometime, at the wrong time, to the wrong people…”
The Professional needed to say it twice that I gotta focus on my own healing. Oh well, after pressing lotta emotion and had a rollercoaster journey for a quarter year -though I am healing- I am doing this. Freeing myself to write.
The writing is like opening a Pandora Box, my anger was born. Every day since I use this blog to express my truest feelings. And it works.
I think the professional is right. Quoting Billie Ellies in recent Vogue Magz, it’s all about what makes you feel good afterwards. Watta relieve to let it all out! I’ve considered the subject of the anger’s dead since 2 months ago in my mind but there’s this different feeling when putting it into words. Writing heals. Those strong emotions slowly elopes and vanishes. Nothing’s left. Zilch. Zero.
“How about the friendship?”
“I want nothing. Nil.”
“What if the friend comes back as usual?”
“I’ve set the nature from the beginning, right? But isn’t useless to talk what ifs?” I asked back quoting her from our last previous meeting.
And by that I got kudos with two tumbs up from The Professional yesterday. Oh so happy ☺️☺️ Though my smiles faded a little when I went home with different homework. Really can’t catch a breath, huh? 😅