You Suppose to Turn 42 Today

My heart aches when I opened our college album and recalling all the memories that comes within.

It hurts badly that I cried.

It hurts knowing that our friendship didn’t have a chance to have further rollercoaster joyful-sadness-exciting-fearfully life experience memories.

It hurts so much that we cannot exchange calls after long tiring days in the office.

It hurts painfully we cannot watch our kids grow bigger together. Basti and Vino will be great buddies just like we are (I am sorry, I still cannot write in past tense. I feel like you are still here with me by soul)

It hurts deeply reminiscing what we have gone through together and thinking what we might could’ve done.

Your mom just texted me this pic of us. The day when we graduated together. A bit blurry but I wanna post it here. I still keep in touch with your mom, Ros. I still keep in touch with your fam.

You are more like a sister to me than a friend, Ros. May you Rest In Peace in heaven. I love you always.

Written accompanied by Run of Collective Soul, one of your fave bad. I miss you badly, Ros.

Sister by Birthdate

Namanya Ailtje dengan pelafalan /ailce/ atau /ailsa/ tergantung mau dari bahasa mana. Akrab dipanggil Tjeje tapi saya sih memanggilnya Ailsa. Terasa lebih hangat dan lebih mesra menurut saya. Kami kenal saat trip ke Madura berburu batik pesisir bersama Batik Attack di tahun 2012 lalu. Siapa sangka kami punya mutual teman yaitu Venny si Ratu Kuis (dijuluki begini saking seringnya dia menang kuis. Lol). Dan itu menjadi jembatan kedekatan kami.

Persahabatan yang dimulai dari jalan-jalan itu perlahan tapi pasti berkembang. Pepatah lama bilang, cocok atau enggaknya kita sama orang itu bisa ketahuan pas lagi ngetrip bareng dan itu benar adanya! Hehehe. Ohya, ternyata selain batik, kami punya banyak kesamaan lain. Di antaranya sama-sama penggila konser atau festival musik. Bersama dengan Aling (peserta Batik Trip juga) entah sudah berapa konser yang kami hadiri bareng. Udah nggak ingat! Yang pasti kami seringnya ada di kelas festival, selalu janjian sampe jam berapa lalu bergandeng tangan jangan sampe lepas biar kami bisa meringsek masuk.  Tak lain dan tak bukan… Ya biar ada di baris paling depan jadi paling dekat sama penyanyinya… Masih keinget banget gimana kita teriak “aaaawwww” bareng pas liat Katon nyanyi ngedlosor patah hati di panggung.

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What’s New?

Her name is Dewi. I’ve known her almost a decade ago on her first move to Jakarta. We rarely meet up but our heart connects in a way.

On her last birthday I wrote her long letters. My first hand-written letter this year. I didn’t understand it but felt like there’s this urge telling me to take special time writing it.

So I took time. In result the Bday gift was late being sent.

Only after I sent it I understand why the universe did that. Dewi said she burst into tears as the letter seems like answering her wanders for the past several months. And by that I knew, I knew we need to catch up over a cup of coffee (our fave liquid. Lol).

So one noon we’re sitting at Pison Coffe next to Grand Indonesia. Catching up. We talked and talked. I told her I was astonished by her and Epat’s achievement, how I was proud of them. Really I am. Then she asked me what’s new about me. So I told her recent occurrences in my life. She smiled. A very warm one and some comforting words uttered afterwards.

A friend knows. A friend understands. Thank you for our friendship Dewi. Thank you for inspiring me to push myself training for a 100 km cycling. I am working on it. ☺️ Thank you for always reminding me that your ears are always ready, by that I know you have my back.

Let’s do it again soon. Make it longer next time. Love you, always. You, cute girl with the bangs! 😊😁

Email from the Past

Earlier this week I received an email from a long long time friend from college. He was actually my crush when I was a freshman. I remember just ended a four year relationship from the first BF of mine and felt lonely. Here comes this guy all charming and sweet. And of course he’s good at playing music. But we had major differences at that time, he celebrated Iedul Fitri while Christmas was my belief. He made a move but after several times going out he decided not to continue it saying uncomfy seeing me with a cross on my neck. I was crushed.

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